Lake Wobegon Celebrates Ingebrigtsen

Lake Wobegon residents were glued to their television sets Tuesday night to watch the finals of the men's metric mile at the London Olympics. The phone lines started buzzing Tuesday afternoon as word came that Senator Bill Ingebrigtsen's nephew Hendrick Ingebrigtsen of Norway had done something special and everyone should watch the Olympics broadcast to see it.

While most Lake Wobegon residents had heard of the Olympic Games, the notion of a "metric mile" confused them. Pastor Liz said; "A mile is a mile, what do you want to try and make it metric for?" But not wanting to offend Senator Bill, they turned on their TVs and waited expectantly.

Finally, after seemingly endless talk about showing the 1,500 meter final, the camera began to pan across the entrants and there he was in those tiny shorts and funny looking shoes, Hendrick Ingebrigtsen, the pride of Norway, European champion in that silly metric event this year. A handsome young man, they thought, by why is he parading around this stadium full of people in his underwear?

They watched ardently as young Hendrick raced to a fifth place finish, an honorable placing they thought. At least he didn't raise his arms at the finish line or drop to his knees, bow down and kiss the track like others they had seen do after they won their races. He just did his job and didn't make a spectacle of himself. No gigantic metal coin to hang around his neck or bite while photographers took pictures, just a display of athleticism that everyone could be proud of.

That's the news from Lake Wobegon where the women are strong, the children are good looking, and the metric milers are above average.